Relocating With Teenagers

Relocating with teenagers can be one of the most challenging transitions out there. Teens have established groups of friends and often busy lifestyles of their own that may involve school, a job, extracurricular activities, volunteering, and other activities. When teens are told they’ll be moving, they realize that this transition means leaving their comfortable lives behind for something entirely unknown. It’s the dive into the unknown that can make teens uncomfortable about moving and can lead to intense emotions and reactions.

Some teens may act excited about moving and see it as an opportunity to start fresh or reinvent themselves. Others may resist the move at every step. Teens who seem excited can still have negative reactions, and those who resist initially may ultimately be the ones who embrace the transition the best in the long run. Regardless of your teen’s reactions, it’s important to allow your teen to express his/her emotions.

Here are some tips to help make the move as smooth as possible for your teenager:

1. Let your teen offer input on relocation-related issues. While the housing decision is, ultimately, up to you – keep your teens in mind. Give them room to provide feedback on potential homes or even schools.

2. Be open and up front with your teen as much as you can. Communicating with your teen is more important now than ever. Provide information and answer questions as best you can. Teens want stability and normalcy. By helping your teen understand as much as possible about where you’re moving and what to expect, you allow him/her to be part of the process and better understand how it will affect daily life.

3. Involve your teen in the move. Give teens responsibilities, such as packing household items (particularly their own belongings), watching younger siblings, or other duties that give them an active role in the process. On the other hand, adapt the relocation to your teens, if possible. For example, can you adapt your relocation schedule around the school year, or at least around any major events they have coming up?

4. Educate yourself on how this move will affect your teen. Know how this relocation will impact your teen’s ability to participate in certain activities or ability to hold a job. For example, driving laws are different in each state. If your 15-year-old was planning to take driver’s education and get an early learner’s permit, but the new state doesn’t allow permits until the age of 16, your teen may be disappointed. Perhaps most importantly, stay abreast of your teen’s emotional response to the move, and offer a safe space in which your teen can express his/her feelings.

5. Encourage your teen to stay in contact with current friends. This may mean setting up unlimited texting plans for cell phones or helping your teen get online to social networking sites popular with teens, such as Facebook. E-mail is a great resource, but you could also consider purchasing a webcam and allowing your teen access to a service such as Skype to keep in touch with friends.

No matter where you are in the moving process, keep communication lines wide open. Recognize that it may take your teen a while to adjust emotionally. In some ways, relocation can be a process of grieving. After the move, pay attention to your teen’s emotional status and how well they seem to be handling the transition. If grades go down or your teen doesn’t seem to be making new friends or adjusting well, it may be a good time to seek professional support.